Good news is good for you! A Ramble

[helwen]

No, this isn't a bible entry, for those whose first thought on seeing the subject line was the Good News bible (altho' I do have a copy of it...)

I wonder sometimes if I come across as a Pollyanna in my LJ, but my perspective on life is generally that when life hands you bad stuff, you can cry or you can laugh. Not that I can always be positive about everything -- I have my down days like anyone, if not as many as some folks I know. At this very moment for instance, my right shoulder/side of neck is trying to give me some grief even as I'm writing this post. But for me, crying is not the answer -- especially since I have asthma, and crying usually leads to not-breathing. Breathing is good, I'm kind of addicted to it...

Anyway, grim as things can get sometimes, be it health, finances, things that happen to friends, family, things in the news that happen to other people's friends and family, my first reactions are these (not necc. in this order):

1) Review all information/facts available, in order to assess what can be done/what should be done. Respond accordingly. No point in getting over-excited, because it wastes energy that could be better used to help out, if aid is possible/needed. Also, just because something is upsetting to me, doesn't mean it's appropriate or needful to do something about it. And if I'd like to do something but can't for some reason, I've worked on learning not to feel guilty because I don't have a lot of free time or free cash to help out. I'm only human, after all, not an angel or a superhero.

2) Give thanks for all the blessings in my life (family and friends, shelter, food on the shelf, etc.) I have a lot to be thankful for, and I'm reminded of it every day.

3) Make a plan and act on it.

Of course, sometimes there isn't much you can do for #3 but wait and/or be supportive. But when you can do something, it's great because one of the major things that can be depressing and distressing to people is that something out-of-control has happened and they have no way of regaining control. It's why people do things like clean the house even though they just cleaned it, stuff like that -- not being in control is hard, and having to trust that things will work out can be hard too. In this case, one needs to try to cultivate patience, and faith.

And while religious faith is helpful to some, what about faith for aetheists and agnostics? There are a lot of things to have faith in: your friends, your family, your skills and talents, the innate tendency of the universe to seek balance, and no doubt lots of other things. When I left the corporate world and spent some time trying to be a full-time artist (apparently not my thing), and then fitzw changed jobs to be able to work from home, we took a big pay cut. A certain amount of my creativity went into not painting, but finding ways to save money. I found a lot of ways, and I found that you can be unemployed or partially employed and still be incredibly busy. I also found that when I occasionally started to panic that using my mantra "Have faith!" would calm me and keep me going.

Mind you, sometimes it went more like "havefaithhavefaithhavefaithhavefaith...". Over time, things have gotten easier. Not necessarily financially, but I find that overall I enjoy the challenges that come up in our lives.

So am I a Pollyanna? Maybe. And if you're my friend, I'm afraid you'll just have to deal with it, 'cuz it isn't going to change :)

Comments

[loosecanon.livejournal.com]

Pollyanna had a good thing going.
If you dont notice the crap going on around you, it doesnt hit you.

Gentle people who sweetly and kindly dispense only goodness, who honestly do not attend to the ills in the world around them do not suffer those ills.

You be you, keep being you, and anyone who is frustrated by your outlook may well simply not understand how much your core that outlook is. Anyone who resents your perspective ( calling you unrealistic or naive, what have you ) isnt terribly positive, but you probably are immune to that anyhow =)

[helwen.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the thumbs up :) I'll confess that even though I do try to keep up with environmental and political issues (and even try to do something about some of it, within my capabilities), that I don't really understand why a lot of people do the things they do. I mean, I can watch a show and often give the explanations for who's doing what and why, but I still don't understand it.

For instance, being greedy or dishonest is a very stressful way to live, and I don't see how anyone can genuinely enjoy a life that is predicated on base motives. Or if one is trying to do 'good', it should generally be within the limits of one's abilities, not to the point of letting everything in one's personal life become a shambles. This year has certainly put a bit of a strain on both fitzw's limits and mine, what with the construction and all, but with some help and wise decisions it's becoming more manageable.

The thing I see most often in our circles though, is the tendency to borrow trouble -- and to the most negative ways of talking about such things I say "Don't you have something better to do?" Me, I'm too busy to borrow trouble :D

My 'secret' plan is to live a long, happy, healthy life. That's easier to do when you do good and happy things. Like talking with friends, for instance :)

[loosecanon.livejournal.com]

There's not always reason for motive. It's hard to let go of that, but for me, forgiveness lies in understanding that I can't always understand someone's motivations.

Once when we were cut off in traffic, the driver of the car I was in yelled at me for thinking the other driver might have a good excuse, he just wanted to yell and rant for a moment.
I still think it's easier to think the other driver might have had a "doh" moment, but I try to keep it to myself when those things happen.