Good news is good for you! A Ramble
Nov. 17th, 2006 03:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
helwenNo, this isn't a bible entry, for those whose first thought on seeing the subject line was the Good News bible (altho' I do have a copy of it...)
I wonder sometimes if I come across as a Pollyanna in my LJ, but my perspective on life is generally that when life hands you bad stuff, you can cry or you can laugh. Not that I can always be positive about everything -- I have my down days like anyone, if not as many as some folks I know. At this very moment for instance, my right shoulder/side of neck is trying to give me some grief even as I'm writing this post. But for me, crying is not the answer -- especially since I have asthma, and crying usually leads to not-breathing. Breathing is good, I'm kind of addicted to it...
Anyway, grim as things can get sometimes, be it health, finances, things that happen to friends, family, things in the news that happen to other people's friends and family, my first reactions are these (not necc. in this order):
1) Review all information/facts available, in order to assess what can be done/what should be done. Respond accordingly. No point in getting over-excited, because it wastes energy that could be better used to help out, if aid is possible/needed. Also, just because something is upsetting to me, doesn't mean it's appropriate or needful to do something about it. And if I'd like to do something but can't for some reason, I've worked on learning not to feel guilty because I don't have a lot of free time or free cash to help out. I'm only human, after all, not an angel or a superhero.
2) Give thanks for all the blessings in my life (family and friends, shelter, food on the shelf, etc.) I have a lot to be thankful for, and I'm reminded of it every day.
3) Make a plan and act on it.
Of course, sometimes there isn't much you can do for #3 but wait and/or be supportive. But when you can do something, it's great because one of the major things that can be depressing and distressing to people is that something out-of-control has happened and they have no way of regaining control. It's why people do things like clean the house even though they just cleaned it, stuff like that -- not being in control is hard, and having to trust that things will work out can be hard too. In this case, one needs to try to cultivate patience, and faith.
And while religious faith is helpful to some, what about faith for aetheists and agnostics? There are a lot of things to have faith in: your friends, your family, your skills and talents, the innate tendency of the universe to seek balance, and no doubt lots of other things. When I left the corporate world and spent some time trying to be a full-time artist (apparently not my thing), and thenfitzw changed jobs to be able to work from home, we took a big pay cut. A certain amount of my creativity went into not painting, but finding ways to save money. I found a lot of ways, and I found that you can be unemployed or partially employed and still be incredibly busy. I also found that when I occasionally started to panic that using my mantra "Have faith!" would calm me and keep me going.
Mind you, sometimes it went more like "havefaithhavefaithhavefaithhavefaith...". Over time, things have gotten easier. Not necessarily financially, but I find that overall I enjoy the challenges that come up in our lives.
So am I a Pollyanna? Maybe. And if you're my friend, I'm afraid you'll just have to deal with it, 'cuz it isn't going to change :)
I wonder sometimes if I come across as a Pollyanna in my LJ, but my perspective on life is generally that when life hands you bad stuff, you can cry or you can laugh. Not that I can always be positive about everything -- I have my down days like anyone, if not as many as some folks I know. At this very moment for instance, my right shoulder/side of neck is trying to give me some grief even as I'm writing this post. But for me, crying is not the answer -- especially since I have asthma, and crying usually leads to not-breathing. Breathing is good, I'm kind of addicted to it...
Anyway, grim as things can get sometimes, be it health, finances, things that happen to friends, family, things in the news that happen to other people's friends and family, my first reactions are these (not necc. in this order):
1) Review all information/facts available, in order to assess what can be done/what should be done. Respond accordingly. No point in getting over-excited, because it wastes energy that could be better used to help out, if aid is possible/needed. Also, just because something is upsetting to me, doesn't mean it's appropriate or needful to do something about it. And if I'd like to do something but can't for some reason, I've worked on learning not to feel guilty because I don't have a lot of free time or free cash to help out. I'm only human, after all, not an angel or a superhero.
2) Give thanks for all the blessings in my life (family and friends, shelter, food on the shelf, etc.) I have a lot to be thankful for, and I'm reminded of it every day.
3) Make a plan and act on it.
Of course, sometimes there isn't much you can do for #3 but wait and/or be supportive. But when you can do something, it's great because one of the major things that can be depressing and distressing to people is that something out-of-control has happened and they have no way of regaining control. It's why people do things like clean the house even though they just cleaned it, stuff like that -- not being in control is hard, and having to trust that things will work out can be hard too. In this case, one needs to try to cultivate patience, and faith.
And while religious faith is helpful to some, what about faith for aetheists and agnostics? There are a lot of things to have faith in: your friends, your family, your skills and talents, the innate tendency of the universe to seek balance, and no doubt lots of other things. When I left the corporate world and spent some time trying to be a full-time artist (apparently not my thing), and then
fitzw changed jobs to be able to work from home, we took a big pay cut. A certain amount of my creativity went into not painting, but finding ways to save money. I found a lot of ways, and I found that you can be unemployed or partially employed and still be incredibly busy. I also found that when I occasionally started to panic that using my mantra "Have faith!" would calm me and keep me going. Mind you, sometimes it went more like "havefaithhavefaithhavefaithhavefaith...". Over time, things have gotten easier. Not necessarily financially, but I find that overall I enjoy the challenges that come up in our lives.
So am I a Pollyanna? Maybe. And if you're my friend, I'm afraid you'll just have to deal with it, 'cuz it isn't going to change :)
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no subject
Date: 2006-11-18 02:16 pm (UTC)Once when we were cut off in traffic, the driver of the car I was in yelled at me for thinking the other driver might have a good excuse, he just wanted to yell and rant for a moment.
I still think it's easier to think the other driver might have had a "doh" moment, but I try to keep it to myself when those things happen.