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Happiness and Stuff
Feb. 20th, 2008 08:53 am[A quotation from the Dalai Lama.]
Lack of understanding of the true nature of happiness, it seems to me, is the principal reason why people inflict sufferings on others. They think either that the other's pain may somehow be a cause of happiness for themselves or that their own happiness is more important, regardless of what pain it may cause.
But this is shortsighted: no one truly benefits from causing harm to another sentient being. Whatever immediate advantage is gained at the expense of someone else is shortlived. In the long run, causing others misery and infringing their rights to peace and happiness result in anxiety, fear, and suspicion within oneself. Such feelings undermine the peace of mind and contentment which are the marks of happiness.
True happiness comes not from a limited concern for one's own well-being, or that of those one feels close to, but from developing love and compassion for all sentient beings. Here, love means wishing that all sentient beings should find happiness, and compassion means wishing that they should all be free of suffering. The development of this attitude gives rise to a sense of openness and trust that provides the basis for peace.
--The Dalai Lama, from 'The Dalai Lama: A Policy of Kindness', edited by Sidney Piburn.
***
Sharon Astyk recently posted on her blog about pleasures, and how when things like a long hot shower or ice cream are rarer treats, she appreciates them that much more (they are doing some water conservation, so she cut some time off most showers so that she could have that all-important that-time-of-the-month long shower). She talks about how we can re-shape how we do things and think about the things we're doing to cut down on our emissions and use of things so they aren't sacrifices, but pleasures.
We're cutting back on tv, and probably should cut back even more on that, because heaven knows I get more done when I'm away from the tv (and the computer :D). I'm also working on cutting back on chocolate. I actually succeeded in cutting quite a ways back some years ago, when I decided only to eat good quality chocolate -- more expensive so I can't afford as much of it, but boy is it tasty when I do have it! But, we were still drinking instant packaged hot chocolate this winter, until a few weeks ago when we finally ran out. Now we have these blocks of chocolate that you melt a piece of and then add milk to -- takes a little getting used to because we're figuring out things like how much sweetener to add, and of course since it's more work to make we don't make it as often, lazy people that we are :D But now it's more of a special treat, which it should be, since it isn't a local product.
***
As we were walking down aisles at the Big Y (yes, we do still go to supermarkets), just seeing what was there ("Hey, look at all the stuff we're _not_ buying!"), I saw all the Easter candy stuff, and oddly, it made me think about how at Christmas and other holidays many folks are all about buying new stuff. And not just new things for gifts, but also new 'holiday' clothing, new decorations, new tree ornaments.
We all need new clothing from time to time of course, but how much? And if it's a sweater with an obvious holiday theme on it, how much use will you get out of it?
And what's with some people buying not just one or two new ornaments, but an entire new set for a different 'theme' or 'color scheme'? I've tried to do a sort of color theme at some point in the past, but I did it partly by making some ornaments, a few purchases, and choosing which ornaments were going to be out that year. Of course at this point in time, I wouldn't even do that -- too wasteful of resources, and our money's better spent elsewhere.
But more importantly, what happened to what my family and many others _used_ to do at Christmas time? Instead of the 'thrill' of a new ornament each year, we had the pleasure of unpacking family treasures. I still know what my mother's favorite ornament is -- a little copper-colored glass teapot. We always made sure to hang it up high so it wouldn't get bumped into by the cats or by us kids when we were younger.
This year when I packed up the ornaments I had out (small tree), I separated some of them into their own space for the future. They aren't extremely precious, but we bought them with Z's help, so when he has a tree of his own, we'll give them to him as a foundation for his own set. I don't expect him to go crazy with this stuff (a lot of kids are more eco-conscious than they used to be), and it'll have some small sentiment.![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ellid knows what I'm talking about, with her treasured collection of deer from her family, that go on the fireplace mantle every winter.
Back to Easter, briefly. We're actually considering getting a chocolate bunny this year, but if we do, it will be one of the good ones, and it will be to share with some of our friends who'll be up here for Alban Eiler. The only other 'food' of that type, which we got yesterday, was a small package of Peeps chicks (nasty marshmallow things). That's a tradition going back to UMass, and Smith College too. Pure silliness and superstition of course, "sacrificing" a peep around the equinox and/or Easter. Altho' the one year we didn't do it on schedule, all heck broke loose.... There's something to be said for keeping up some traditions.
***
The Japanese understand this idea of not having all our pleasures available on a daily basis too. In a traditional space, most of the decorations and other more daily items are kept neatly put away, and only a few things are out at a time. In this way you can fully appreciate what you have.
Of course, our place is pretty cluttered in some ways, as we sort out what we want to keep, what we want out right now, and how to store things so we can find them when we need them! But I do try to keep the livingroom relatively neat, because not only can you see better what you have (both for finding and appreciating), but I find the absence of 'stuff' to be a most relaxing and pleasant thing, in and of itself.
Hm, maybe we'll have some hot chocolate this week...
Lack of understanding of the true nature of happiness, it seems to me, is the principal reason why people inflict sufferings on others. They think either that the other's pain may somehow be a cause of happiness for themselves or that their own happiness is more important, regardless of what pain it may cause.
But this is shortsighted: no one truly benefits from causing harm to another sentient being. Whatever immediate advantage is gained at the expense of someone else is shortlived. In the long run, causing others misery and infringing their rights to peace and happiness result in anxiety, fear, and suspicion within oneself. Such feelings undermine the peace of mind and contentment which are the marks of happiness.
True happiness comes not from a limited concern for one's own well-being, or that of those one feels close to, but from developing love and compassion for all sentient beings. Here, love means wishing that all sentient beings should find happiness, and compassion means wishing that they should all be free of suffering. The development of this attitude gives rise to a sense of openness and trust that provides the basis for peace.
--The Dalai Lama, from 'The Dalai Lama: A Policy of Kindness', edited by Sidney Piburn.
***
Sharon Astyk recently posted on her blog about pleasures, and how when things like a long hot shower or ice cream are rarer treats, she appreciates them that much more (they are doing some water conservation, so she cut some time off most showers so that she could have that all-important that-time-of-the-month long shower). She talks about how we can re-shape how we do things and think about the things we're doing to cut down on our emissions and use of things so they aren't sacrifices, but pleasures.
We're cutting back on tv, and probably should cut back even more on that, because heaven knows I get more done when I'm away from the tv (and the computer :D). I'm also working on cutting back on chocolate. I actually succeeded in cutting quite a ways back some years ago, when I decided only to eat good quality chocolate -- more expensive so I can't afford as much of it, but boy is it tasty when I do have it! But, we were still drinking instant packaged hot chocolate this winter, until a few weeks ago when we finally ran out. Now we have these blocks of chocolate that you melt a piece of and then add milk to -- takes a little getting used to because we're figuring out things like how much sweetener to add, and of course since it's more work to make we don't make it as often, lazy people that we are :D But now it's more of a special treat, which it should be, since it isn't a local product.
***
As we were walking down aisles at the Big Y (yes, we do still go to supermarkets), just seeing what was there ("Hey, look at all the stuff we're _not_ buying!"), I saw all the Easter candy stuff, and oddly, it made me think about how at Christmas and other holidays many folks are all about buying new stuff. And not just new things for gifts, but also new 'holiday' clothing, new decorations, new tree ornaments.
We all need new clothing from time to time of course, but how much? And if it's a sweater with an obvious holiday theme on it, how much use will you get out of it?
And what's with some people buying not just one or two new ornaments, but an entire new set for a different 'theme' or 'color scheme'? I've tried to do a sort of color theme at some point in the past, but I did it partly by making some ornaments, a few purchases, and choosing which ornaments were going to be out that year. Of course at this point in time, I wouldn't even do that -- too wasteful of resources, and our money's better spent elsewhere.
But more importantly, what happened to what my family and many others _used_ to do at Christmas time? Instead of the 'thrill' of a new ornament each year, we had the pleasure of unpacking family treasures. I still know what my mother's favorite ornament is -- a little copper-colored glass teapot. We always made sure to hang it up high so it wouldn't get bumped into by the cats or by us kids when we were younger.
This year when I packed up the ornaments I had out (small tree), I separated some of them into their own space for the future. They aren't extremely precious, but we bought them with Z's help, so when he has a tree of his own, we'll give them to him as a foundation for his own set. I don't expect him to go crazy with this stuff (a lot of kids are more eco-conscious than they used to be), and it'll have some small sentiment.
ellid knows what I'm talking about, with her treasured collection of deer from her family, that go on the fireplace mantle every winter.Back to Easter, briefly. We're actually considering getting a chocolate bunny this year, but if we do, it will be one of the good ones, and it will be to share with some of our friends who'll be up here for Alban Eiler. The only other 'food' of that type, which we got yesterday, was a small package of Peeps chicks (nasty marshmallow things). That's a tradition going back to UMass, and Smith College too. Pure silliness and superstition of course, "sacrificing" a peep around the equinox and/or Easter. Altho' the one year we didn't do it on schedule, all heck broke loose.... There's something to be said for keeping up some traditions.
***
The Japanese understand this idea of not having all our pleasures available on a daily basis too. In a traditional space, most of the decorations and other more daily items are kept neatly put away, and only a few things are out at a time. In this way you can fully appreciate what you have.
Of course, our place is pretty cluttered in some ways, as we sort out what we want to keep, what we want out right now, and how to store things so we can find them when we need them! But I do try to keep the livingroom relatively neat, because not only can you see better what you have (both for finding and appreciating), but I find the absence of 'stuff' to be a most relaxing and pleasant thing, in and of itself.
Hm, maybe we'll have some hot chocolate this week...
