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Rough Week
Aug. 8th, 2019 05:45 pmI've been cleaning, organizing, etc. for the past week, trying to make sure the kitchen was clean and there was indoor space, etc. for yesterday (Wednesday), when some friends were going to be here for Lughnasadh. Just a wee gathering, but doing so many things in so many directions this summer had really left the place a mess. Plus the repeated bouts of humid weather haven't helped... L's focus outside of work has been mowing and other outdoor things. He did also sweep in the radiant room and downstairs hallway, altho' I had to do the hallway again because the stairs above them hadn't been done yet; still appreciated.
I'd asked the house mates to do some cleaning but apparently I needed to make a specific list, as the only thing that got done was the sink and toilet of the downstairs bathroom (the one specific thing I asked of one of them). A close friend of theirs had died last Friday, and I understand mourning and all, but... considering all I had to do after my mother's death, while I was in the throes of cleaning my sympathy was pretty damn low.
But probably as much as anything else for stressors is that here we were, getting ready to hold a harvest ritual in the middle of constant updates on the horrible national administration, corporate greed, and catastrophes all over the globe. And on the one hand I'm still working on getting things together for my MA Real ID and next my passport. So feeling trapped in this country sometimes :( L got his Real ID this week, so should be easier to do it again for me - altho' I have more paperwork than him. Of course it's pretty hard to actually move anywhere -- have you ever looked at the requirements for immigration to any given country? Anyway.
I was spiraling around the constant struggle to try to figure out what's the best use of my energy for making any sort of actual difference in the world, the various divisive strategies of TPTB, whether I should give up all of my costuming stuff - which leads to how to get rid of it. Not like it ceases to exist once it leaves the house. Other people can do it, just I don't go to events much so stuff takes up a lot of space for the amount of use it gets. And we could use more space, sigh.
And then there's the fact that I've gotten an average of 3-1/3 hours/night of sleep for the past week.
So, pretty hard crash yesterday. Got it together enough to talk to one friend who arrived a little early, and was finally centered enough for ritual, but it was a close thing. Thankful that none of them are difficult personalities, and instead were supportive.
Still not sure what I'm doing with... everything. Really need to get rid of a _lot_ of stuff though. And even though I sometimes wonder if there's a point to building a library space, I'm still hoping we get it done by mid-September.
***
I suppose I should share something positive.... the housemates found some Monarch caterpillars and eggs on plants that had been cut down by the town's road crew and rescued them. Some didn't make it -- susceptible to various things -- but more are going to live than not, because of their intercession.
I'd asked the house mates to do some cleaning but apparently I needed to make a specific list, as the only thing that got done was the sink and toilet of the downstairs bathroom (the one specific thing I asked of one of them). A close friend of theirs had died last Friday, and I understand mourning and all, but... considering all I had to do after my mother's death, while I was in the throes of cleaning my sympathy was pretty damn low.
But probably as much as anything else for stressors is that here we were, getting ready to hold a harvest ritual in the middle of constant updates on the horrible national administration, corporate greed, and catastrophes all over the globe. And on the one hand I'm still working on getting things together for my MA Real ID and next my passport. So feeling trapped in this country sometimes :( L got his Real ID this week, so should be easier to do it again for me - altho' I have more paperwork than him. Of course it's pretty hard to actually move anywhere -- have you ever looked at the requirements for immigration to any given country? Anyway.
I was spiraling around the constant struggle to try to figure out what's the best use of my energy for making any sort of actual difference in the world, the various divisive strategies of TPTB, whether I should give up all of my costuming stuff - which leads to how to get rid of it. Not like it ceases to exist once it leaves the house. Other people can do it, just I don't go to events much so stuff takes up a lot of space for the amount of use it gets. And we could use more space, sigh.
And then there's the fact that I've gotten an average of 3-1/3 hours/night of sleep for the past week.
So, pretty hard crash yesterday. Got it together enough to talk to one friend who arrived a little early, and was finally centered enough for ritual, but it was a close thing. Thankful that none of them are difficult personalities, and instead were supportive.
Still not sure what I'm doing with... everything. Really need to get rid of a _lot_ of stuff though. And even though I sometimes wonder if there's a point to building a library space, I'm still hoping we get it done by mid-September.
***
I suppose I should share something positive.... the housemates found some Monarch caterpillars and eggs on plants that had been cut down by the town's road crew and rescued them. Some didn't make it -- susceptible to various things -- but more are going to live than not, because of their intercession.
