On being a landed baron/ess - followup

[helwen]

I have to confess that even though I've been a peer for a little while, I still find it both an honor to have my opinions and ideas given serious thought by others, especially by folks like msmemory and joyeuse60. Humbling too, because I'd never want to lead anyone astray, which helps inspire me to continue to do my best.

I know I have odd ideas sometimes compared to some folks, so I really thought that post through before writing it. When I was baroness the first time, my artwork was starting to get a lot of notice, and the word 'laurel' was mentioned not a few times. Although it was nice to hear in some ways, once I became baroness I requested that the Tyger Clerk only send me AoA and OHM assignments and geared down a bit on the complexity of my work. I didn't feel I could honestly be both Baroness and Laurel at the same time, not and do justice to both sets of responsibilities. The barony was brand new and being a Laurel would have been brand new -- too much for me to consider.

It's different when the group is already established, and of course now that I've been a peer for a while, I simply use whatever skills and experience I've acquired in service to the barony. One certainly doesn't need to be a peer to be a baron or baroness, it's just how I felt at the time. Of our own lineage, the second baron was already a peer, the fourth baron was knighted during his time as baron, and fitzw was made a peer after everyone had voted but before he was invested, and of course I am a peer this second time. So very much a mixed group as regards that aspect.

For those thinking about running for baron and baroness, I put forth these additional thoughts, take them as you will. Think about everything you can bring to the table. How can you best benefit the group? Ask people what they're looking for, talk to people you don't normally talk to, get out there and get to know the people you're considering representing. And, because only one couple can win, think about how you can still benefit the group even if you don't when. Being prepared either way, will put you in a different mode of being, feeling, thinking. For me, as long as I could feel confident that my opponent(s) in the election could also be good in the position I could relax, knowing that the barony would be taken care of. fitzw and I ran against Mistress Eleanore MacCarthaigh, and for various and sundry reasons more folks voted for us. But at all times before, during, and after the electoral process we maintained and still maintain a very cordial relationship. She's part of the barony too, after all.

Some groups think that the losing candidates should be shunned or should retire from the public eye. I strongly disagree with that idea. Whether or not they do retire is, quite frankly, up to them and no one else. They're members of the group and should be treated with respect. Elections have broken up friendships, households, families, and entire groups. This may be a 'game' but the hurt feelings are real. I cannot stress the need for mutual respect enough because of those possible consequences.

For all the groups who are or will be going through the electoral process in the next year, I hope they all are able to conduct them in great love and friendship for one another!

Thanks for reading :)

Comments

[calygrey.livejournal.com]

Some groups think that the losing candidates should be shunned or should retire from the public eye.

Certainly not. These people were good enough to be candidates for the top job of Baron/Baroness. That rather implies they are very useful and liked by the group. So, they don't win, they should skulk away? Allowing the group to lose their usefulness as well as previously enjoyed personalities. That's wrong.

Thank them for running and go back to life as usual.

[helwen.livejournal.com]

We definitely had problems with this the first time around. I mentioned what happened with one of the couples in my reply to joyeuse60, but as a note of interest, all three married couples eventually divorced. I don't think the elections were a direct reason, but it's possible it was one of a number of reasons, even though Etienne and I won -- you have to have a rock-solid relationship to survive what life throws at you, and unfortunately we didn't. Happily, most of us seem to have finally found our life partners. Etienne and I don't speak, but mostly I expect that's because he isn't in the SCA anymore and lives in CT, so our lives have nothing in common anymore. But I know he has a wife and two kids that he adores, and I'm glad things worked out for him.

We did better in succeeding elections. Only one divorce and that would have happened anyway, and we retained both of them (one isn't very active because of work but is still on the group discussion list). We retained everyone else, and in fact I was sure we would in the most recent one because we all had things we loved doing and that people loved doing with us, so our support was already in place. Eleanore M is now also the head of the scribal guild, in addition to her other duties. I asked her to take it up when the previous head got a job in NY so that I wouldn't have to take it back just right now. I've always been the fallback for that job, but it's nice to spread things around, and I can use the time for other baronial stuff. Although at some point I'll be running a few workshops during the weekdays for those who can't make Sundays, since I work part-time and she doesn't. Still nice to share the load :) During the election we were actually joking that we should just make it easy on everyone and have all three of us up there, and call ourselves the Triumvirate :D

[helwen.livejournal.com]

Correction. There were two other divorces in later elections, not one. But also unrelated to the elections in cause.

Boy, I guess we've had a few of them over the past 15/16 years... happily, we had a wedding this summer and another one's coming up either the end of this month or next month, and a baby on the way for one of the already-married couples too.

Elections

[joyeuse60.livejournal.com]

Your advice is timely, since we will see an election within the next 6 months.

I would certainly agree with you that the 'losers' be encouraged to continue playing. After an election is over the group still wants/needs the talents etc of these folk. After our last election we lost both of the other two candidates who had run for the coronet, partly because of mundane committments but partly because I believe they felt that they had been rejected by the population. That is an error on our part.

Both of the other contendors were excellent candidates and the 'winning' couple only won by a narrow margin. However, with the excitment of a new couple as our cornet we all got caught up in helping them get settled into their roles. We didn't do it on purporse, but I don't think we spent enough time letting the two 'losing' candidates know that we still valued their presence, knowlwdge and talents. I hope we can avoid that error this time around and be supportive of all candidates after the election is over

Re: Elections

[helwen.livejournal.com]

We had issues with it the first time out, which I tried my best to avert -- I asked the other lead couple to run our investiture and worked on the event with them, so we would be seen as a team, but in the end she never became as active again. He, on the other hand, eventually divorced her, and is now the 5th baron of Bergental :) And no, he didn't divorce so he could become baron :D Funny how things work out -- one of Bergental's odder stories, I expect.

Re: the two couples who aren't active, does anyone stay in contact with them? Just to say 'hi'? Real life occurs, but some time as passed now, and sometimes that plus a few friendly hellos are all people need to start them back on the path to rejoining the group.