Sometimes I just want to quit

Did a generalized rant on FB but really, sometimes even when you have money to throw at things, you just can't. WARNING: There is a significant lack of sunshine and daisies in this post. If you don't want to see it, scroll on.

- I have someone who I'd like to build the porch entryway - he wants to, but he has a bunch of other work to get done first. So at least I'm in line...

- Another guy I want to hire for some other projects -- can't even get enough time together to schedule a look-see to do estimates.

- A fencing company, aside from the guy not having been able to call and schedule a time to come look and do estimates -- once we have that done they won't be able to schedule construction until December at the earliest. We talked to them about three weeks ago... should have done so a couple of months ago.

Contractors are all busy. There's no point in trying to find someone else. They're all busy. I hate it.

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Every project I get done or Lyle gets done... it takes forever to do, for various reasons. This week he was trying to finish clearing some old lumber and get it all to the dump. Yellow jackets, with a hard-to-access ground nest disagreed. Fortunately he only got stung once, on discovery of the nest... He made progress in spite of them but had to stop yesterday because he ran out of wasp & hornet spray and the hardware store was closed (Tuesday). We were in the valley for my allergy shots and picking up stuff from the kung fu school but forgot about it while we were there. So. Today, buying some while we're up getting pizza.

We're trying to plant some Paw Paw trees but it seems like every time we get close to being able to plant them the weather turns too hot & humid or it rains. And then we get to start over again. I was so close last time...

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All of the yard maintenance uses so much time and energy, I hardly make anything anymore. Much the same as last year...I was talking about that with one of the housemates, who tried to cheer me up or something with the thought of at least I designed and made a bunch of masks last year... ugh. Really? I started out last year with experiments, making the pouches and a vambrace - I'd like to make more of those at some point... maybe next month when the weather's hopefully better. And yes, I like problem-solving so learning about masks designs, materials, etc. and tweaking for something comfortable and effective, great. But really, I was designing something almost completely utilitarian, not particularly great on the aesthetics-side of things.

I definitely play more online games than I should, but I'm just tired. I think about setting up a tea party for the few folks who come here and it's just tiring. We aren't going to the movies, we didn't go to the local ren faire (apparently it was pretty sparse)... We finally managed to do something nice for Lyle's birthday -- just cooking and sitting around a fire and then some cake, but it was nice. Mind you, that fire didn't really want to catch, but eventually got it going. Just... group stuff seems to require so much work. I don't have the energy to be enthusiastic for everyone.

Code Orange* was fun, so there's that -- I did ask for some feedback from Danabren but for the most part it I got to just plan and have some fun making things. It's all ready to go to the post office, in fact.

I have made some other things this year, sewing-wise. Mostly just regular clothing, nothing fancy. Not as fun as costuming -- altho' technically I did some of that as well, for DE. But that was pretty simple stuff, overall. The one complex thing they asked if I wanted to do was a vest with 4 welted pockets... yikes. I guess I need to get more creative with my home sewing.

And I did some drawing earlier in the year, as part of getting going on building a website -- that I can't build. No, I still haven't gone and just hired someone. I should. I hate that it's so easy to feel overwhelmed these days. I did have some old customers contact me for cards, which was nice. And one of those led to me putting some of my cards in a store in Greenfield. But I haven't really drawn since the spring.

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Oh, and the family living with us has been trying to find an affordable place for months now... things are either too expensive or in horrible places. The girls need separate rooms at this point and we have no way to do that here, really. I have ideas but they don't want to take up more space. And to be honest, much as I like them, I'd like my space back. They were going to move last year, when the pandemic hit. So, here's hoping they find a place. Also, once they move out, I think I'm ready for cats again.

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I haven't lost any weight but I am slowly improving on mobility and pain issues. I should probably be getting some chiropractic and massage but... eh. I guess it's hard to feel like there's a lot to celebrate when progress is so incremental...

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Also, those people who talk about changing their lives, letting go of what doesn't serve you, or whatever? That takes a lot of time and energy to do too. I've been trying to organize, declutter, etc. for a few years now... Meh